oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
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You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
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His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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