Kareoke will never be a sober sport
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
