Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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