"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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