Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
