guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
