Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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