That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
