Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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