Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize