you lied. pity sex is amazing.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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