when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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