I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
sex in a hospital.. check
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
