If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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