he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
now i know why i became what i already was.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
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Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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