Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
