could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
