Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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