I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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