Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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