So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
