i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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