He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
