idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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