I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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