I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
