But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
