You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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