when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
