nut hugger
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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