Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
