My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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