I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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