i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize