Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
