Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
