it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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