i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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