Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
