The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
