So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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