And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
