That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
