i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
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I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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