in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
