Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
