I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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