Jerry, you need to find god
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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