if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
