oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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