ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Shame - the story of my life.
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