if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
