my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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