Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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