she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
