nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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