You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
