Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
